the journey of a widow
💔 One year ago today was Dwight’s last full day on earth. I’ve been struggling with this for awhile...and in the midst I received this gift; a remastered recording/filming of a performance of “Spirit of the Wind” by Todd Alan and the Quest from 1994. This was the band Dwight was in when I first met him. Todd did this project in memory of Dwight and I’m so thankful to be able to see and hear him one more time. ❤️ Listen/view here: https://youtu.be/-J7ikkhzajc
Contemplating 2020. And 2019 💔. Hoping for happier times ahead. Meanwhile, I hold close that which brings me comfort and reminders: I bought myself this ring for Christmas; Celtic knot work with a red garnet, Dwight’s birthstone. I’m enjoying my morning with coffee, in one of his favorite mugs, with a splash of Bailey’s Irish Cream. #HappierNewYear #IrishLass #dwightwashere #alwaysinmyheart
Solstice. We always acknowledged and quietly celebrated this day. It was the Celt in us. Winter was hard on me, and the mid-point of Solstice gave me hope that we were on the other side of it. I welcomed this day. We’d always play Jethro Tull’s “Solstice Bells” and then continue playing Tull music the rest of the day. He was one of Dwight’s favorite musicians. This morning I played “Solstice Bells” and then moved on to “Songs from the Wood”, a favorite album of Dwight’s. A few songs in, I recognized a specific guitar percussive technique and it was…
11 months 💔 Things are getting better. I think. The last 6 weeks or so were getting a bit easier, but the upcoming holidays are making it harder, again. I was trying to stay positive about it, but I just can’t swing it. Our best friend moved out of state Tuesday. Our goodbye Monday night was emotional. We’d been a trio for 25 years. This year we’ve all parted ways in some fashion. It’s been a difficult week. I bought a small table-top tree. There are days when it makes me smile and days where I want to chuck it…
This past week, I completed and delivered the first piece of fine art I’ve created this year. It was a custom piece made for a client as a Christmas gift, so I can’t show it, but it gave me a feeling of accomplishment and reminded me of the deep passion I once held for photography & digital art. I also visited the new home of my brother and sister-in-law this week. They’ve been busy putting things in their place and adding decorative pieces and touches. I’d gifted them an art piece as a housewarming gift, and when I visited last,…
Ya’ll... this is so special, I’ve cried multiple times over it. This was Dwight’s truck. My good friend and stellar photographer, Ted Linczak, came up from South Carolina to photograph it with a new technique; light-painting. He did this in the dark a few months ago on top of a hill on the farm where Dwight’s mother was raised. Dwight’s dad purchased the truck new in 1988 and put 24k miles on it before he passed in 2013. Dwight inherited it and drove it until 2019. I gifted the truck to his good friend, Bryon Bradshaw, who will be taking…
Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃 As I woke up this morning, I missed the smell of bread baking. One of the things that Dwight was known for was his bread, and he always got up early to bake so he could free up the oven for the turkey. When I first met him, he told me about his bread-making. I was skeptical and I rolled my eyes inside, figuring he was saying that to impress me. I was wrong. 😂 The first time I visited Dwight’s home (1995), he called out for me to come in when I knocked on the door.…
10 months 💔 This one is exceptionally hard. Double digits means it’s almost a year. He’s really not coming back. The snow has affected me, which I didn’t expect. It was snowy when he died; it caused problems with planning the funeral/burial. There was a big snowstorm headed our way, lots of other funerals to schedule around and important people from out of state to consider. Hammering out the “when” took more time than anything else in our planning meeting. It caused me issues for a several months. I couldn’t keep up with shoveling due to my broken ankle. I…
I had an appointment today with my grief counselor. It’s the first session where I didn’t cry. Progress.
I’ve had everything from Dwight’s funeral packed away; I haven’t been able to bear looking at it - the flag, candle, sign-in book, flower cards...none of it. I’m finally to a point where I can cope a bit better with it, so I decided to put together a small display to honor him.