One of the main thoughts that kept repeating over and over in my head was "But, we had plans!" Up until now, whenever someone I was talking to would mention a plan that didn't work out, I had a standard answer: "Do you know what happens when you make plans?""God laughs." Of course, I don't say that anymore. And I'm sure God didn't laugh. I don't know why I was so surprised. I am a maker of many plans and not a huge percentage of them ever work out the way I want. Sometimes things are a little different, sometimes…

If you'd have asked me who I was prior to 2019, I'd have recited a whole list to you; mother, daughter, wife, photographer, author, auditor, non-cook, organizer of chaos, and whatever other silly title I could conjure up quickly. On January 14, 2019 that all came to a screeching halt. At 1:45 am I called 911 and then spent the next nine minutes being coached through CPR by the operator, trying to save my husband until the squad arrived and took over. The memory of these minutes comes from above, as if I was outside my body, watching the events…