11 months 
Things are getting better. I think.
The last 6 weeks or so were getting a bit easier, but the upcoming holidays are making it harder, again. I was trying to stay positive about it, but I just can’t swing it.
Our best friend moved out of state Tuesday. Our goodbye Monday night was emotional. We’d been a trio for 25 years. This year we’ve all parted ways in some fashion. It’s been a difficult week.
I bought a small table-top tree. There are days when it makes me smile and days where I want to chuck it out the window.
I tried playing Christmas music… too hard to listen to 
.
I made a solid attempt at gift-shopping, which got overwhelming after gift #3. I decided to pare the list down to just the grand-children and great-nephews; which is better, but still hard. I’ve got 8 of 11 kids done. It’s too bad gift cards or money don’t spark joy in toddlers…
Right now I just wish it was over with.
I have Christmas week off work to use up my vacation days, but I won’t be celebrating. My counselor says I need to have a plan for days I think will be hard, so I’m planning to paint the bathroom, install new sinks, faucets and light bar, and finally bring the electric up to code with a GFI outlet.
DIY projects bring me joy, so I’m planning happiness for that day, even though it’s not the same type of happiness most others will be having.
…. I have been trying not to express too much negativity when I post…but maybe this can at least be a PSA for someone else…
I’m struggling with some people. That’s not usually the case, but the holidays have sparked concern for me with some who think that pushing and insisting I need company that day is the thing to do.
It’s not.
I get that folks are trying to be helpful, but sometimes the most helpful thing to do is nothing.
We all have folks in our lives that are going to have a tough holiday in some capacity. If you offer help or an invitation to celebrate and it’s politely turned down, let it go. “The offer is open if you change your mind” is probably the best way to respond.
Your person already feels bad, putting them in a position of having to awkwardly refuse several times until you get the message just makes it worse.
You’re running the risk of causing resentment. Pushing the issue sends the message that you know better than your person as to what their needs are.
Really think about this part, it can be quite offensive. You’ve just passed judgement that your person is wrong and you’re right. This isn’t about you. Unless you are a degreed Psychologist/Psychiatrist or licensed counselor, you don’t know, and even then, you don’t *really* know.
Hopefully this is helpful information for those of you wondering what to say/do in similar circumstances. Listen to your person, acknowledge their desires, and respect those decisions.
C